One morning, in the last year of her life, my mother – in the later stages of dementia – offered to make me a cup of tea.
She turned the kettle on and then described what she was doing. “There are four stages to making a mug of tea,” she told me. “I talk myself through them so that I remember: tea bag in cup, hot water, milk, then sugar.”
Her delight at being able to do this small thing for me was evident – she could still play “hostess”, make herself a brew first thing in the morning and exercise a degree of autonomy, even if just around a simple cup of tea.
Near the end of her life, it broke my heart that she could no longer make a cup of tea for herself or me – or even hold a mug safely without the risk of spilling and burning herself.
That little tea ceremony was much more than just “tea”; it was an exercise in remaining independent.
I was not altogether surprised when I read a study published last month in the BMJ’s Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health that showed cooking at home could be good for the brain, for lots of reasons.